One of my all-time favorite episodes of "The Office" is "Diversity Day," so I couldn't help but revel in "Women's Appreciation," which was like a diversity day for gender issues. It all starts when Phyllis is accosted by a flasher in the parking lot. As Dwight sets out to catch the culprit, Michael aims to make the office a more welcoming environment for women.
After offering some requisite offensive comments, Michael decides to take the women to a more female-friendly environment: the mall. The gals help him with his own female problems, and he takes them shopping at Victoria's Secret.
Tell me your favorite quotes from the episode, and to see some of mine,
- "The guy was just hanging brain. What's wrong with that? If that’s flashing, then lock me up." — Creed
- Toby: "I was at a parent teacher conference."
Michael: "Oh yeah, prove it! Let's see your penis. ... Ok, as that was coming out of my mouth, I knew it was wrong."
- "Jan and I have a safe word in case things go too far: foliage." — Michael
- "I wish someone had flashed me when i was with Roy, because that would have been the ass kicking of the year." — Pam
- "Attention: I am removing all bananas from the kitchen." — Dwight
- "If Pam wants to show more cleavage, she should be able to. I encourage that." — Michael
- Michael: "When Meredith flashed me at that Christmas party, I nearly vomited."
Meredith: "I don’t remember doing that."
Angela: "What a surprise."
- Michael says that celebrities create unrealistic expectations about how real women should look. Gesturing towards Pam, he says: "Even the hot ones aren’t really that skinny."
- Andy: "If it were up to me, you ladies would be the fashion models."
Kevin: "Yes, and then the fashion models could come here and work with me."
- "If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore." — Dwight
- Karen, when Michael announces he's taking the women to the mall: "Frankly, it’s pretty insulting. But I have a lot of stuff I need to return in my car."
- "I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls." — Angela, on shopping in kids' stores
- "I’m happy sometimes. When we scrap book. Or right towards the end of having sex." — Michael, on his relationship with Jan
- Michael: "Wow, I cannot believe this yogurt has no calories!"
Pam: "No one said it has no calories."
- "I’m kind of between boyfriends right now, so I don’t really need anything sexy. But I do need some new hand towels, so I figure I can cut up this robe." — Pam, when Michael takes the women shopping at Victoria’s Secret
- Andy: "I really appreciate you letting me shadow you today. I really learned a lot."
This week on "The Office," Michael's safety lesson about the dangers of depression turns into a real examination of his life. Meanwhile, the other office employees start taking bets on anything and everything, and Andy (who now wants to be called "Drew") returns from his anger-management leave.
It was an amusing episode with some excellent moments, though I was bugged by how very quickly Michael's joke demonstration became a real thing. It just seemed strange.
Here are some of my favorite bits from this week's episodes. Tell me some of yours in the comments.
- Dwight has decided to shun Andy for three years. He says shunning, an Amish technique, is "like slapping someone with silence." Dwight is familiar with it because "I was shunned from the age 4 until my sixth birthday for not saving the oil from a can of tuna."
- Later in the episode anytime Dwight absolutely had to speak with Andy, he had to "unshun" and then "reshun" Andy, using his hand to indicate a screen opening and closing.
- Everyone takes bets on Kelly's explanation of how to use Netflix, with some people winning more money based on how often she said "awesome" and "romantic comedy."
Lots more if you
- Dwight demands to speak to Andy through Jim.
Dwight: "Tell him bears can climb faster than they can run, Jim — tell him!"
Jim: "An— ...nah, he’s too far."
Dwight: "Damn you."
- In the office, Toby has his own safety training speech to give, and Michael introduces him thusly: "Toby now has the floor, and he is going to try not to screw this up like everything else in his life."
- "What, Nerf isn't cool anymore?" — Michael, when Darryl sneers at Michael's cushy "Nerf ball" life
- "I worked in a warehouse. Men’s Wearhouse. I was a greeter." — Michael
- Michael decides their safety training wasn't as interesting as Darryl's warehouse safety training, so he wants to do another demonstration explaining the dangers of depression. Dwight suggests they use a depression quilt, but Michael says they don't have time to make a quilt.
- Dwight: "Depressed? Isn’t that a fancy word for feeling 'bummed out?'"
Micheal: "Dwight, you ignorant slut."
- "I’m Braveheart. I am." — Michael, when Darryl calls him Braveheart to talk him down from the roof
- "I saved a life. My own. Am I a hero? I really can’t say. But yes." — Michael, upon deciding not to jump off the roof
This week's episode of "The Office" focused on courage and heroism, with Dwight defending Jim from Roy with pepper spray and Michael realizing that he could demand a higher salary. There were tons of hilarious moments — I'm particularly tickled by the antagonism between Toby and Michael — so check out my highlights from "The Negotiation" and then tell me: What were your favorite quotes?
- "I was lucky Dwight was there. And Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray, not the nunchucks or throwing stars." — Jim, as Dwight's hidden weapons are revealed
- When Jim offers Dwight a gift of thanks, Dwight replies, "Citizens do not accept prizes for being citizens."
- "Are you wearing lady clothes?" — Darryl
"No, this is a power suit." – Michael
- "Negotiations are all about controlling things, about being in the driver’s seat. And make one tiny mistake, you’re dead. I made one tiny mistake. I wore a woman’s clothes." — Michael
For the rest of the highlights,
- "When I heard Jim and Pam had kissed, my reaction was to have lots of long talks with Jim about our feelings. Roy just attacked him. I’m not sure which one Jim hated more." –Karen
- "Here’s the straight dope, no tricks, no Wikipedia." –Michael, leveling with Darryl about salaries
- Michael, on the perks of his job: "Every year I get a $100 gas card. Can't put a price tag on that."
- "Hey, I'd rather kill myself." — Michael, after Jan suggests Toby be present for the salary negotiations
- Michael, negotiating with Jan: "You give me a good raise, or no more sex.”
He then turns to Toby: “What are you writing, perv ball?"
- "This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial." – Toby
- "It was a weird day. I accidentally cross-dressed." –Michael in response to Jan asking him what's wrong
- "You know who's a real hero? Hiro from 'Heroes.' Also, Bono." — Dwight, on his office heroics